The Porcelain Standard

While athletic skill can instantly elevate a boy’s social status, the rules for girls often feel frustratingly different. Growing up, I experienced this contradiction firsthand as a double standard that shapes how society views women in sports.

Back in elementary school, tennis was my absolute passion. I loved everything about it, from the rhythmic pop of the ball off the strings to the empowering feeling of running down every shot. But at a family gathering, that joy was suddenly challenged. An aunt stared at me with a frown, turning to my mom with concern, and saying, “You should stop letting her play tennis. Her skin is getting darker and drier. She will not be able to get a nice skin tone when she’s older if she keeps playing sports.” And then another auntie followed and said to me, “Be careful Tonya, your legs are too muscular. No boys will like a girl who has dark skin and big muscles!” Overwhelmed, a mix of self-doubt and confusion washed over me. And that is when I told my mom that I didn’t want to play tennis anymore.

Looking back, those comments reflected a much broader societal bias. While male athletes are celebrated purely for their strength, endurance, and dominance, female athletes are often subjected to a completely different set of rules. In media and other spaces, including modern online communities like the manosphere, a woman’s worth is frequently reduced to her physical appearance and compliance with traditional beauty standards. Men are allowed to be rugged, muscular, and focused entirely on performance, while women are expected to remain “pretty,” delicate, and aesthetically pleasing, regardless of their athletic achievement. What my aunties said stayed with me for years, and it damaged my self-esteem to the point where I refused to do any sports or even go play at the beach on a sunny day. One thing to note is that my family is of Asian descent, and beauty standards in Asia almost always revolve around the paleness of one’s skin. No matter how much lotion I applied or how many brightening face masks I put on, my dark skin did not become whiter. I not only lost my favourite sport, but also my happiness.

Everything changed when I saw Hsieh Su-wei, a former doubles world No. 1 and multiple Grand Slam champion, competing on TV. Watching her reignited my love for the sport and reminded me of what truly mattered: the rush of chasing down a ball, the satisfying sound of a clean hit, and the thrill of a good rally. Champions like Hsieh Su-wei, Andrea Agassi, and Steffi Graf continue to demonstrate that a woman’s success, respect, and standing in society do not depend on conforming to narrow, superficial beauty standards.

To this day, I deeply regret quitting tennis to satisfy other people’s outdated expectations. A woman does not need to look perfect, delicate, or pale to be accomplished, respected, and admired. Excelling in sports brings genuine confidence, happiness, and fulfillment. Popularity among boys? I would rather be proud of what my body can accomplish than worry about whether I fit someone else’s definition of feminine beauty.